The Seeker- This particular type was mentioned before in a previous blog. This is the guy that is always searching for the bigger better deal. The grass is always going to be greener on the other side of the pasture. The way to recognize this man is to pay attention to the clues.
- He checks out any attractive woman that passes by and is obvious about it
- He updates his profile regularly, while you are dating
- He has never been married, despite being in long relationships/or was married for less than 5 years
- He talks about the things the two of you should do together, "if it works out"
- He talks about how he wants to go to the gym and "get back in shape" and how attractive he thinks he is on a regular basis
- In his profile he talks about how he wants a woman who takes care of her body, or something to that effect. This is his way of saying, I am into looks big time. While looks are important and everyone should try their best to be their best, it doesn't make much difference when you are 75 years old and you are waking up next to a moron you can't stand.
This man has game. He knows exactly what to say and when to say it. He is very flattering and very sexual right off the bat. Watch out for this! He is going to tell you everything you want to hear. He wants a serious relationship, he is tired of the games, he is looking for a good hearted woman, etc.. The truth, this guy has found the money spot for picking up women that he labels as desperate and eager to believe anything he will tell them. Here is what to look for.
- Opening email says "Hi sexy, why are you on a dating site? You are too gorgeous to be single." Or something to that effect
- He may use a lot of abbreviations in his emails. "U r so sexy mami u wanna go do sumtin 2mrow"
- He calls you baby within a few days of communicating
- He talks about all of the women that have broken his heart. This is an attempt at getting you to feel sorry for him and want to "take care of him"
- Most of his pictures are shirtless, or cell phone pics he took of himself
- He has pictures of him with other women, who's faces may or may not be blacked out
This guy will seem great off the bat. He seems sincere, honest, and sweet. He will flirt with you pretty heavily. This guy can fit into the online player category with a few differences.
- He calls you at odd hours and for short durations
- He says he can't talk for long because he doesn't have a lot of minutes on his cell phone. This is usually because he has a pre-paid phone that he uses to call women so his wife/girlfriend won't see it on the bill.
- He usually wants to meet for lunch dates in an area away from where he lives and works. He may excuse this because "I have a busy schedule" or "I don't want you to have to drive to me."
- He walks outside to take your calls in the evening
- Look at his pics closely, observe the background. You can tell if a woman decorated the surroundings. If it is a bathroom pic, look for womens bath products or toiletries.
This guy will be detected through conversation. He will list that he has kids and they are important to him, but he will only talk about them once or twice in his profile. If a guy is a good dad, he will not be available for dates on the weekends that he has his kids. Ask him about them, where they live, how old they are, how often he sees them. If he does not see them on his designated weekends, and there is no good reason why he shouldn't, run away. He probably isn't paying child support, or he will complain about how much he is ordered to pay. Here are some tips for picking this one out of the herd.
- He says his ex is horrible and never lets him see his kids. Look, if there is a custody order, no one can stop him from getting his kids. He is legally entitled to have them on his weekends.
- He is only allowed visitation one night per week. This means he didn't care enough to fight for more time or the court found that he was not responsible enough to care for them for a weekend at a time.
- He doesn't talk about his kids very often.
This one is hell bent on proving to himself he isn't gay. He will not make many moves on you, or he may be overly eager when he kisses you but quickly draws back. Here are some tips to figure this one out.
- He lives with a roommate
- He loves dogs, particularly small breeds (chihuahuas, poodles, maltese, etc.) This does not include bulldogs, men that have bulldogs are straight as a board.
- His favorite music is dance music. Favorite artists are Madonna, Michael Jackson, and of course Liza and Barbara Streisand
- He is very well groomed and usually in very good shape
- He dresses well, meaning he is matching and talks about clothes often
This one is afraid of commitment and intimacy. It may be difficult to spot this one off the bat as he will come off as "normal". It's important to remember that even if a relationship happens, you will not ever be more than a girlfriend at the very most. Here are the things to look for.
- He has never been married and has not had a relationship that has lasted more than 3 years
- He loves to hang out with his friends and will do so often. Do not be thrown off if he texts you while he is with his friends, this just means he feels safe with them around
- He has a history of breaking up and getting back together with exes
- He doesn't like to talk about future plans of doing anything with you
- He is uncomfortable with public displays of affection; hand holding, kissing, hugging, etc.
- He doesn't like to talk on the phone, he will email or text you when you are not together. This is because a phone call is intimate, it is just you and him directly connecting during a conversation. This makes him uncomfortable.
This one is going to come on strong right out of the gate. He is going to tell you that he doesn't want you to be dating any other men while you are talking to him and he may insist you take your profile down. He is going to call you baby, honey, sweetie, my girl, etc. right away. You will find the attention very flattering but some part of you will be uncomfortable about the rate of this progression. Get ready for the restraining order if you let this guy know where you live or work. Here are the things to look for.
- He is a very fast mover, he will talk about your "relationship" and what he expects and what you expect of him within 2 weeks of communication
- He will text you often and get angry when you don't respond right away
- He tells you how much he misses you even if you just saw him
- He talks about your future together to the point it makes you a little uncomfortable
- He asks you about your dating and relationship history, specifically about how many sexual partners you have had. (It is my belief that the topic of past sexual partners is taboo no matter how long you have been with someone, it is your business and will usually only be used as a weapon during fights. Keep it to yourself, as long as you are disease free and have had safe sex, he doesn't need to know)
This guy is looking for a rebound and he may not even know it. He is fairly easy to pinpoint. He will state in his profile how he was hurt/disappointed by someone and will probably use his profile to attack this person by saying negative things that are associated with her. If you don't want to be the subject of his next profile, keep moving. This is what to look for.
- He will talk about his ex and/or how she "did him wrong" frequently
- He will tell you multiple times that he does not cheat and will not tolerate cheating. (No one wants to be cheated on, this is something that everyone knows and only needs to be stated one time during the relationship)
- He still has pictures of his ex on his phone or at his home
- He may have excessively bashed her on his facebook page
- He talks about the places he went, the movies he watched, or the things he used to do with his ex often
